And if you other brothers can’t deny, there’s a better option than paying ludicrous prices for the new Coomhammer! Tyranid models. In fact, in terms of price and out-of-the-box playability, they’re even a better option than 3D printing your own.

If you are on my wavelength about playing with toys, then this thought probably already occurred to you. But supposing you are skeptical, or you just don’t visit Dollar Tree too often, check out these Final Faction “Kharn” (those are the aliens) bug blaster things. They are $1.25 each (the four-legged little spiders come two to a pack, so even cheaper).

Honestly, they are playable as is, but it’s easy enough to customize them with a new paint job or filling in the sockets for the firing missiles with putty. Or you can glue some new weaponry or armor on them. A bit of matte varnish will dull down the shine if you just want them to look less toy-like with minimal work. Maybe add a wash, too, to bring out the nicely sculpted details.

Now these are meant to be GI Joe scale (i.e. 1/18) so they are going to be big against 28-30mm figures, something more like the Starship Troopers movie bugs than man-scale ‘nids or Xenomorphs. But what’s wrong with that?

Now fanboy suckers and corporate cucks will turn their nose up at these because they’re “not proper miniatures” or something, but who cares? You don’t play with those people, do you? You do? You need to gatekeep more. Or just tell them that they’re official Citadel minis and that you paid $50 each for them and watch their reactions change: